Thankfulness & Infertility

This day, this season, compels us to stop and think about gratitude. What are you thankful for? What blessings abound in your life? I've long believed that, even in challenging times, there is always so much to be grateful for, if you just take a moment to pause and reflect. And, believe it or not, it is actually possible to be thankful for the hard things, like infertility, because oftentimes those hard things teach you more than easy times ever could… You learn and you grow and you’re led somewhere new. 

This time last year, Greg and I had recently started seeing a new reproductive endocrinologist at our second fertility clinic. We were beginning to tackle the list of to-do’s that we needed to complete before embarking on our first IVF cycle. We’d already experienced many ups and downs on our journey to baby, and even with our decision to try in vitro fertilization, the road ahead was uncertain. There were no guarantees.

Fast forward one year and I am holding my precious daughter in my arms. It’s amazing what can happen in a year. It’s no surprise what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving. I am so grateful for my sweet miracle baby, Delilah, conceived with the help of science and a whole lot of love. I am thankful that, although born more than three weeks early, she is healthy and thriving — celebrating one month of life today! I am appreciative of the doctors and nurses at John Muir Medical Center in Walnut Creek who took care of Delilah following her rocky entrance into the world, and I am likewise indebted to the medical team at Reproductive Science Center that helped Greg and I fulfill our dream of parenthood. How immensely glad I am that technology like IVF exists! Without it — and the power of God, no doubt — our girl wouldn’t be here. And I would be remiss if I didn’t give thanks for the community of friends and family who encouraged and supported us throughout the IVF process, during my pregnancy and in the weeks since Delilah arrived. But I am most grateful for my husband, my rock. The eternal optimist, he never gave up on our shared desire to create a family. Even when my faith faltered, he always believed that we would be right where we are now. Greg has been and continues to be an incredible partner, and he is the very best dad to Delilah.

So, am I thankful for infertility? In some ways, yes. As taxing as it has been mentally, emotionally, and physically, and as much as it has cost us financially, this journey has brought Greg and I even closer and made us stronger. Nothing like injecting your wife with hormones to forge increased trust and intimacy! (The "quirks" of pregnancy have a way of further bonding couples, too.) But seriously, infertility was also an effective teacher of patience and powerful cultivator of faith. Faced with the potential of my dream of motherhood never being realized, I was suddenly and surprisingly forced to find the positives wherever I could — to keep my sanity as well as my will to keep moving forward. As a result, I was able to more clearly see all the small, everyday blessings in my life, and to more fully appreciate the people who are a blessing to me.

This time last year, the road was uncertain, but it did lead somewhere new and wonderful. Despite the challenges, I cherish our story, because it had the happiest of endings.

From our little family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving!

My first Turkey Day! Thank you, great grandma, for the cute holiday outfit!

Give me turkey!!! Actually, this is what happens when you take Delilah's pacifier away.